New Look!!

As some of you might remember I popped up on posters in tube stations all over central London a few months ago doing my best possessed-face as one of the models in the New Look denim campaign!
The entire thing came as a complete surprise to me, not just because I'm a chubster with a pressed face but because it was actually my boss's business associate Leith Clark (whom I'd only met once at the time) that invited me to the casting! Anyway a blessing is a blessing is a blessing is a blessing and I'm really honoured that the wonderful people at New Look did a little street-style feature on me that you can check out here

the picture below is the one that's been in circulation the most and I love it because there's Mary and Iona being all cute and civilised, then there's me doing my utmost to make myself look mentally unstable..

you can check out some behind the scenes footage below! FYI, the bits of us talking were filmed at the very end of a 12hour shoot which should explain the whole dead behind the eyes thing I've got going on.

x

Pick Me Up

I love to get dressed up to go to the most mundane places, I throw on a Jacques Vert blazer (of which I have a growing collection!), some ruby-woo, a pair of heels and Sainsbury's turns into Nobu Berkley.. okay maybe it doesn't, but it helped to erase from my mind the fact that I spent yesterday eating hobnobs in my pyjamas! Currently need to do my roots and stop making this pressed face at the camera.. also planning to go charity shopping again soon, I got this salmon blazer from my fave spot for a pound nearly a month ago and I'm getting withdrawal symptoms already.

ps. the reason my neck's craning like that is because I literally have to watch out for every step I take in these boots, they're a bad fall waiting to happen -broken nose and twisted ankle included.

x

Easter Pastels

Happy belated Easter to one and all!!I hope you all had a fun and fulfilling time celebrating the risen king? Like most good South Africans do on a bank holiday, I ate beef and boerwors (dont ask) and drank beer. I had such a relaxing time with the family, even the fact that I fell bum first into a thorny rose bush couldn't stop me.. until this morning when I realised there are tiny punctures and scratches all over my right bum cheek and arms. As long as it stays warm over the next week I can let my little wounds heal in these super old Levi's.

I feel 10x as strung out as I look in the picture above so I'm thinking a hair mask, a hot chocolate and bed in this peach YSL jumper I stole from an ex!
ps. you can totally thank me later for introducing you to one of the biggest tunes to ever have come out of the Kwaito scene in S.A... this right here got multiple replays last night

x

Passover

PROM, the very mention of this word sends me into violent fits of nausea and uncontrollable weeping. 6years ago I went to my prom in a tight, red Nicole Farhi dress with gold shoes from Kurt Geiger and matching gold accessories, I topped this off with a burgundy weave and red lip gloss (I looked like a yardy baby-prostitute). I'll never be able to get over the fact that I let myself be photographed/ video'd looking like that ..as long as I live.
So in the spirit of all things Eastery and redemptiony I was allowed to supervise my sister's prom shopping today, thereby redeeming myself (in my own eyes) after the way I wronged my very own self all those years ago..

anywehhdoh it was all going swimmingly until the friggin rain made a mockery of my bare legs and midriff, but we came home with a beautiful Biba gown so all's well that ends well I guess!

x

Purple Haze All In My Brain

A few months ago I sat down in church and spent a 2hour service begging God not to allow me to follow the voice in my head that was telling me to shimmy out of my seat, lay face down in the centre aisle, slowly roll myself down it and out of the front door. Needless to say, I haven't been involved in any rollin' or tokin' since then, and therefore did not partake in any of the 4/20 festivities today ..I don't need Purple Haze all in my brain to act ignorant or stuff my face, I can do bad all bahh mahhself..

ps. wearing the wedges I diy'd here and blazer I thrifted a couple of months ago
x

Brown Paper Bag

I had a little time to indulge in some DIY shenanigans over the weekend so I pulled out the 6metres of top quality cream leather (I also have 8metres in metallic blue)that's been sitting in my wardrobe of years now, and decided to make something. True to form I got lazy midway through making a pattern for the leather pants I was initially creating, and instead made a simple brown paper bag! I'm actually working on something else with the leather but don't watch this space because knowing me it'll just end up being some cushions, a rug ..or even some curtains, who knows?

 seriously trying to get out of the habit of freehanding my DIYs because the outcome is always really disappointing, but in this case I think I like it.. might have to invest in a nice tan suede next time

ps. I'm literally sleeping in these Deena&Ozzy ponyskin loafers I got from Urban Outfitters last week, LOVE is not the word.. even though they hurt like a bitch!

x

Imaginary Set: Coachella

Oh my gosh guys I just want to boast about all the imaginary fun I had tonight at Coachella! My spirit attended in lieu of my mind and body and let me tell you all, my spirit felt and looked great, if I say so myself ..sunglasses not included in the set because I hate wearing them!

top  -T by Alexander Wang

bag - Cambridge Satchel Company

necklace - Dannijo

mules - Chloe Sevigny x Opening Ceremony

fragrance - Prada Infusion D'orange

shorts - Topshop

It was amazing that the acts I was most excited to see played all my fave songs right?!

Miguel - Sure Thing

Cold War Kids - Hospital Beds

Cee Lo Green - No One's Gonna Love You

Lauryn Hill - Sweetest Thing

Robyn - Handle Me

Oh and then this is the part where KOL just ripped my heart to shreds..

they started with Soft, then they played Milk (killed me softly I tell ya), and somewhere in the set they managed to sneak in McFearless, then they closed the show with the song below which has always done really inappropriate things to my soul.. 

x

Betch You Better Werq

I look pissy and petulant on the outside but inside I'm happy and excited, so excited in fact not even my growing resemblance to Albert Einstein is phasing me!the past four months have been the biggest blur for me, so this week I'm drawing a line in the sand, no more being an obscure lady that does obscure things, it's time to get to work! Taking risks is so much more exciting when you decide to look at things from the standpoint of having everything to gain!

okay before I draw a line in the sand can the song below be my last obscure indulgence.. ? cool

x

Trick Or Treat

I ventured to the Furla candy bag event today with a prayer in my heart, a skip in my step and a smile on my Ruby-Woo'd lips only to have my spirit brutally crushed when Susie Lau didn't call out my name as a winner in the Candy Bag competition.. with everything shutting I couldn't even buy myself a consolation prize so I walked under the golden arches of love and drowned my sorrows in a creme egg mcflurry.. DAMMIT FURLA YOU GUYS DROVE ME TO SUGAR AND SATURATED FAT.

If you had seen the way I kept eyeing the blue and yellow ones up, I swear I was salivating and all sorts

Susie with the only winner that actually turned up 

x

Golden Oldie

Most mornings I wake up feeling like Beyonce but this morning I got up looked at the hair I freshly bleached while half asleep last night -serious super fail- and felt like one of the Golden Girls. So with absolutely no shame in my Betty White game I walked around my little essex town looking like a Jacques Vert advert! I cannot reiterate enough how much having hair has changed my perspective on the way I dress, it's like as the hair grows out of my head its slowly pushing out my Amber-Rose obsession and uneducated-stripper aspirations.. this can only be for the best right?!

jumper; Old/ trousers; Second Hand/ pumps; New Look

this would be my choice of boyf if I were 30years older!
x

Gimme Some Sugaaah

Candy Bag by Furla

Jeans by Zara

Peanut Crunchy sandal by Kandee Shoes

Gem encrusted cocktail necklace by YSL 

Chiffon shirt - T by Alexander Wang 

Those damn cute Candy bags by Furla have seriously got me in a choke-hold, first seen in this post over at StyleBubble I can't seem to get the blue one out of my mind, and I'm currently occupied with fine-tuning my cunning plan to walk into Furla, fit uncontrollably, maybe foam at the mouth, and demand they give me some sugar in the form of this bag before my fake diabetes kills me!
Aside from all this criminal masterminding I'm seriously obsessing over the limited edition Peanut Crunchy by Kandee Shoes, I previously posted about the Peanut Crunchy bootie that I fell in love with here, but I think I may just need a 'filling' to cover up the peanut crunchy sandal-shaped 'cavity' in my heart.. buduuh-bum-chhh cliche ahoooy!

okay so maybe if I just walk into Furla whistling this tune in a blue vinyl crotch protector they'll get the picture and I wont have to do the diabetic routine right?

ps.I'm not above locating the Kandee shoes warehouse to execute my grand theft auto on them too, now to locate a studded leopard print ponyskin thong.. hmm

 x

Baby Steps

I'm pretty sure my decision to grow my hair out directly correlates with my more gentlewomanly approach to dressing, but gentlewoman or not I'm still finding it hard to completely drop my fake tomboy steez so babysteps and small compromises it is. Take today for instance, I decided to lean like a Chola but I wore these forest green satin mary-janes in place of my beat up converse and I felt like a proper lady! Mission totally accomplished methinks!

x

D.I.Y. Clutch

I saw this on Style Scrapbook a few days ago and as a result I'm now obsessed with turning every bit of leather I own into a frigging clutch! I used left over bits of vinyl I found in my neighbour's shed (didn't steal them honest) to make this and the red clutch in the post below... My method's a little hurried but it honestly took me about 10 minutes to make this so try it out if you have some leather/ vinyl, a few bobby-pins and zip hanging around.

easy peasy lemon squeezey!

x

Easy, Breezy, Lazy

Bonjour mesdames et messieurs!
I've been trying to find a happy medium with the onset of this 'almost-spring' weather and frankly I'm finding it hard to deal with so, I'm pretty much living in Uniqlo denim, t-shirts and flats.
I went to dinner a couple of nights ago and decided to throw a little bit of colour and structure in the mix, with this vinny blazer I found for £3.50 YEAAAAH, and my d.i.y'd clutch!

ps. look how long my hair is!!I haven't had comb-able hair for a year and a little bit so I'm excited to start comb shopping soon.. also need to start getting involved in all the natural hair lotions and potions as I'm holding off on using chemicals this time around (apart from bleach obviously). If anyone has anything they can recommend for natural hair I'd appreciate any pointers.

x